A day without fault-finding…
Starting as I awake at 8 instead of 5am and start the day by pouring a coffee and having a heavily smeared toast with vegemite and butter.
My last delicacy jar from Australia is almost empty and I’m not even hungry. I should meditate before anything else, but I’m feeling blue and I walk into the kitchen instead.
Using food to sedate, coffee to stimulate. Sitting on the Lanai’s wood rocking chair I start reading scriptures and make an oath with my creator.
“No fault-finding today, period.”
—Not on myself nor anyone—
It’s a huge undertaking
Just for the next 24 hrs.
We’ll see how that goes, cause I know my way around sweetness…
Chocolate muffin with sugar top pink frost Nutella warm middle and cherry jelly smears
While that belly fat waves at me from the mirror saying it will never go away. Nope, not even if I starve to death. I’ll die with a fat roll
Glad I know the mind lies, I am aware of black and white thinking. So I smile and ignore her, eat my cupcake and decide to go for a swim.
It’s gnarly…
How much mind picks on me
and expects miracles
She’s never quite satisfied
Good thing I know that’s just old data spinning on the computer.
9am…