As much as I lost sleep over my fear of sharks, I didn’t think about them for a split second. I had full faith in Jeff who drove the ski on the peak of the wave and explained to me calmly, “When I say Ok go, you go.”
He didn’t need to ad that there was no room for the slightest hesitation. I’m still smiling as I travel back to yesterday, to the moment I leaped from the ski into murky cold water and hopped from my belly onto my feet and dropped into the peeling glassy shoulder of the wave.
Today I turn 54 years old and I am still the same person who sat at the starting dock at the XGames and for a moment wondered why am I doing this?
To stay humble I am to boast about my weaknesses and stay in awe of God for I cannot deny the multitude of blessings bestowed upon me when I find myself surrounded by beautiful kind friends in the midst of amazing adventures and places, that is why my faith is so strong.
My weakness is how fast I get sucked into the vacuum of fear despite knowing it to be a waste of time and energy. That is why I stay willing and drag my fearful little self against my will to hold on to the power that comes when I choose to have courage to face things.
A few nights ago I went to dinner with a hero of mine, a friend that got paralyzed from the neck down on a wakeboarding accident. He rolled towards our table on his electric chair and took my breath away as if I had seen my favorite rock star. He is thriving in a life he’s built for himself with all those limitations and I look up to him with enormous admiration. I also feel inspired by my friend Jeff who recently won the Legend Award in wakeboarding, but only a few people know how truly brave he is as he base jumps from buildings and cliffs, climbing up at 3 am in the morning hundreds of meters in the dark to stand on top of the world when some of those same questions come to him.
Jeff describes the peace and quiet that take over his being once he’s leaped into the air, and how grateful and alive he feels as he lands and lives in a world that is vibrant and in technicolor. I feel blessed to know persons like this.
From the quiet focus of big wave surfer Greg Long to the pirate outbursts of laughter of freestyle motocross rider Rusty Setser when I got to team up with him and Dave Langer on the jetskis in the big swell at Nazare. Holding on to Rusty I felt as if I was flying on a big air jump as he drove the ski at full throttle, the sound reminds me of the fast paced conversations I had with base jumper pioneer Jeff Corliss that made me feel like I just had a double espresso. Or the time we shot a movie with Herbie Fletcher how Cristian and I drove to Reno one night and bet all our money on a game of roulette on the black thirteen just to lose
it all in one second and head back to Laughlin. I am name dropping left and right but this interactions with hardcore extreme athletes are some of my best memories.
My heroes have overcome great odds, one of my favorite persons to surf next to is Bethany Hamilton, how she crushes my fear of sharks with her mere presence in the line up and humbles all my complaints about having a hard time paddling through the strong current.
I feel so inspired and then there comes my weakness. I get a call today from my son Kai, he is in Kauai and he is stoked he learned a new sideways double flip from the bridge at Lumahi river and I hear myself be Debbie Downer reminding him to be careful. I can’t help to be a mom even if he is an adult now, I can’t help to stay up and worry but I pray instead and draw close to God because it truly is my only solution.
Before I head into 12 days of monk life, I indulged on flat whites and vegemite toast while my friend Jodie comes back from the Racetrack. She doesn’t know the impact she made on me when we were teenagers and she was already giving the pro women jumpers a run for their money at Moomba.
Arriving to the woods of Pomona, wild kangaroos stare me down minutes before I give my phone up and start my fourth 10 day Vipassana meditation silent retreat, where we only eat fruits and veggies twice a day, no sugar nor coffee as we sit in meditation for over 10 hours a day.
Getting ready for the greatest adventure at hand. To conquer my wild mind. It is the best practice I have ever found to purify and develop the skill to stay present and enjoy life as it comes…